oh god the beach

Fuck fuck it's summer and that means hot weather and being outside and sweating hella and water and the beach and my makeup disagrees with all of this! Summer means hating that I have trich. It means constantly worrying that I'm sweating off my makeup, constantly stressed about hitting something and rubbing it off, the … Continue reading oh god the beach

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throwing up your memory

I don't even know what to write. Why do I even write on this blog? For me? For you guys? For someone in the future? I don't know.. All I do know is that I'm sick. Sick and twisted and rotting dying inside. I feel like my mind and my heart are rotting away with … Continue reading throwing up your memory

fester

The anger is festering this morning. I can't explain it, but I am just so so so livid. It's one of those calm angers that starts in your gut and bubbles up like a lava lamp until you are are shaking, dying to explode, dying to lash out at everyone around you, dying to hurt, … Continue reading fester

like a toddler hitting a light switch

Stability. "Do you consider yourself to be emotionally and mentally stable?"  The student OB asked, her little notebook in hand, preparing to write down incriminating evidence of psychological warfare in the mind of this pregnant mentally ill patient. "Well, sometimes I still struggle, but with the help of frequent therapy and medications, I consider myself … Continue reading like a toddler hitting a light switch

relapse

My mental health is getting really really bad again. Maybe I shouldn't have stopped taking my Prozac. Maybe it's because of Lil Chip. Maybe it's because no matter what I do I can't find joy in anything. I don't know if I love anyone anymore. Not the way I used to at least. I don't … Continue reading relapse