painful posies

When the days get warmer and I can't stay sober I'm a private moaner and I remember I'm a loaner a trick of the light a trick of the mind the most freeing of times is captivating a broken nail and a broken will sun kissed skin, too pale a fake smile, a forced laugh … Continue reading painful posies

open book, closed chapter

I'm great at overthinking.  I overthink people's reactions.  I overthink why they say what they say. I've decided that I'm changing my approach to how I interact with people.  I'm not sure what to call it, an open-book-closed-chapter approach, perhaps.  Want to ask questions about my mental health?  I'll tell you about my hospitalizations.  Talking … Continue reading open book, closed chapter

exist forever

"What are you doing tonight?" "Nothing smart" The screen of my crappy overused phone lights up, the one my little sister lent me while I'm too poor to buy a new one. A message from my other sister is on the screen. "What are you doing tonight?" I look down at the metal pressing deep … Continue reading exist forever

week 18

I'm trying to think of the baby less, but it isn't working.  It's a kicker now.  I'm ready for it to be felt on the outside, or rather, M is.  He's obsessed with the idea. I've grown used to the idea of being pregnant.  I can go through the day and think "yeah, my uterus … Continue reading week 18