dear g

dear g, i fucked shit up.  i'm good at that.  i'm like a hurricane, but not in a cute, Harley Quinn kinda way.  i mess up relationships by accident, hurt people and run away when it's time to apologize.  when i finally apologize, it's too late.  i'm really good at that. something else im good … Continue reading dear g

alcoholics anonymous

"Hi, my name is Lex and I'm an alcoholic" my sophomore self introduced myself to a heard of my highschool classmates. Snickers could be heard throughout the classroom. "Now Lex, none of us are like that." My chemistry teacher corrected me. Here we are, 4 years later, and this time I'm saying it for real. … Continue reading alcoholics anonymous

flight of ideas

Spin, spin, spin. These last few days all my head does is spin, spin, spin. At work, I struggled to keep a conversation going because I couldn't focus on anything.  A flight of ideas, the doctors tell me - a side effect of raging dopamine in my prefrontal cortex (that's what causes psychosis and mania - … Continue reading flight of ideas

2 weeks notice

I, Lex, am notifying the management of Unnamed Pizza Company that June 4th, 2019 will be my last shift with this company.  I have greatly enjoyed my time as an employee working alongside the staff at Unnamed and consider it to have been a pinnacle in my working career.  The experiences, skills, knowledge and patience … Continue reading 2 weeks notice

new normal

This is my new normal. Staying up late having deep and pointless conversations with my love. This is my new normal. Not being able to fit into any clothes. This is my new normal. Every penny spent is stressed over because I have bigger things to stress over. This is my new normal. Having to … Continue reading new normal

week 18

I'm trying to think of the baby less, but it isn't working.  It's a kicker now.  I'm ready for it to be felt on the outside, or rather, M is.  He's obsessed with the idea. I've grown used to the idea of being pregnant.  I can go through the day and think "yeah, my uterus … Continue reading week 18