dear g

dear g,

i fucked shit up.  i’m good at that.  i’m like a hurricane, but not in a cute, Harley Quinn kinda way.  i mess up relationships by accident, hurt people and run away when it’s time to apologize.  when i finally apologize, it’s too late.  i’m really good at that.

something else im good at, going inside of myself.  i like hiding away in my own mind, i’ve got my own little world up here.  it’s beautiful inside, but the problem is i forget to invite others in.  i never meant to push you away.  i honestly didn’t.

i’ve got a little girl now and i love her more than i’ve ever loved anything or anyone.  i’m saving money and the plan is to buy a cheap rv, we’ve already got a place to park it.  school is going great and i’m making good grades.  for the first time in a long time… things are good.  i wish you were beside me to see it.  my heart aches for what our friendship once was and what it hopefully will be again.

i’m a coward, i can’t say it to your face.  i’m sorry.

text me “pineapple” when you read this.

if i survive then i’ll see you tomorrow,

lex

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