Once again, I tried to write happy things. I swear, I’ll get there. However, I have new updates since earlier.
Last night, I texted Al to see if he wanted to hang out. Well, last night I didn’t sleep until 6am. There’s not sleeping until 6am, and there’s pregnant not sleeping until 6am. My body and mind are working twice as hard. I needed time to rest. I texted him this afternoon, however, he was insistent. And boy, am I glad that he was.
Apparently the entire friend group that I had until November has been shit talking me and created an entire group chat dedicated to my not being in it. Honestly, could’ve just removed me.
I feel kinda special that people dislike me so much, but honestly, it just hurts. I’m carrying a freaking human, sorry that gossiping with you isn’t my first priority. I KNOW people are going to talk so badly about me when this goes public, and I’ve been fueled by the hate. In the next week I plan to tell two of them (Tom and Mia). April 29th I’m going to go public on social media. I’m ready for people who are going to hate me to just hate me and get it over with. I’m ready to be excluded. I’m ready to be purged from social events. I’m ready to know who’s real and to trust again. I’m ready.
I think my recent introversion has been a gift. It’ll get me through this.
One thing though, why would someone hate someone for bringing life into this cruel world? Excuse me, but wasn’t your mom pregnant with you? Didn’t every human to ever exist do so because of some man not pulling out. My child is innocent. They did nothing wrong. Little Radish doesn’t know what’s going on. They just want food and cuddles. And currently they want me to bond with the toilet every thirty minutes.
If anything, this has inspired me to bond with this thing after all. Maybe hate is a good thing. I’ve become so feisty, maybe this pregnancy will be a blessing after all.
If I survive then I’ll see you tomorrow,