102 reasons i should kill myself right now

Here are a bunch of reasons why I should just kill myself asap.

1) Life sucks ass
2) To no longer worry about money
3) To finally get rid of my trich
4) To fuck the government by avoiding my taxes
5) I can finally find out if there is an “other side”
6) So everyone can wear yellow to my funeral
7) Because Donald Trump is running for re-election
8) Because there are no more Harry Potter books to read
9) My parents will never have to find out that I am legitimately gay
10) To get out of America without having to emigrate
12) So that I wont ever become old
13) I’ll never have to deal with day light savings time bullshit again
14) To avoid dying in a hospital
15) I can stop pretending to like people
16) People will stop asking me what I want to do with my life
17) I get to write my own ending
18) To prove to people that it’s not attention seeking or fake
19) Because yes girls can and will kill themselves with a gun
20) Because I care about the environment
21) Population control
22) I’ll stop consuming resources
23) Because every day I wish I didn’t exist
24) No more crying
25) No more relying on people
26) I wont have to play the “love” game anymore
27) I’m biodegradable
28) To lose weight without even trying!
29) I’ll never have to look in the mirror again
30) I can haunt stupid people
31) So my dad will stop asking me to come to church
32) No rent!
33) You don’t have to cook when you’re dead
34) I can find my own expression
35) So i’ll have an excuse to give people the poems I wrote about them
36) To further statistical research data
37) To leave a mark on the world (with my blood)
38) I will no longer be blamed for the stupid shit my siblings do
39) No one can call you when you’re dead
40) I wont have to spend hours slaving away at a stupid job
41) No more driving, bless
42) Social media is toxic
43) I wont have to worry about my phone dying at an inconvenient time
44) People who did me wrong will feel bad (maybe)
45) Inflation
46) I wont misplace my things when I’m dead
47) No more cleaning the house
48) An end to doctors appointments
49) I wont have to worry about bothering people with my problems
50) A great way to not smoke cigarettes
51) Also i’ll beat my liver before alcohol does
52) No more whiny kids
53) I’ll never have to go through childbirth
54) I wont have to keep wondering if i’ll ever find “the one”
55) When you’re dead people remember the good things about you
56) To make people regret your decisions regarding me
57) I’ll never have to do my makeup again
58) No more worrying what people think of me
59) So i’ll stop running out of socks
60) It doesn’t matter how much I eat if i’m just gonna die afterwards
61) An end to shopping
62) An end to five o’clock traffic
63) No more periods
64) No more pain
65) Stopping for gas is inconvenient
66) To leave more coffee and chocolate in the world for other people
67) Businesses will save money
68) I’ll help pay a mortician
69) To see how many people come to my funeral
70) Also to see how many people cry at my funeral
71) I’ll never have to know who dies in Game of Thrones
72) I can stop thinking about Lil Chip all the time
73) No more confrontation
74) I’ll see if I become a star
75) I will no longer have to work out
76) Vape juice is expensive
78) I can find out if Neverland exists
79) To experience reincarnation
80) To save the lives of the turkeys I was planning to hunt this spring
81) No more sunburns
82) I don’t have to pretend to like the beach anymore
83) It doesn’t matter how tall a dead person is
84) When I am dead I will not be a “bitch”
85) No more unhealthy coping mechanisms!
86) Putting less stress on the lives of others in the long run
87) So people can move on without me in the way
88) So I never have to eat cooked carrots again
89) To escape toxic masculinity
90) To avoid the race war
91) To prove nukes can’t hurt me
92) To fuck up the census
93) I can stop relying on drugs
94) I can actually be happy
95) A solution to continuous thoughts
96) To say fuck you to my emotions
97) Homework will be gone forever
98) Seriously though, so I can stop paying for things/worrying about money
99) To prove tattoos aren’t actually permanent
100) To prove to people I’m not a coward
101) To be like the movie stars
102) To start a new journey

I know some of these are dumb that’s the point thanks.

Wish me luck
– G

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